NaPoWriMo 24 Brief: to write about a particular fruit
Some things are easier to make into an occasion than others
Turning cherries into an occasion is easy
This is how you do it:
- First you obtain your cherries
Whether from the tree or from the market
- Next, think about how good the moment will be
When you put that first cherry in your mouth
Moist and sweet, sticky and juicy
A bright red squirt escaping from your mouth
And a zingy tingle down your spine
As you take that first bite.
Your mouth may water when you imagine this moment
This is perfectly normal.
- Now, choose the location for the ceremony
And it is a ceremony
For the duration of the ceremony
You want to sit comfortably
You don’t want interruptions
You need somewhere to dispose of the stones
Now I’m not just talking about a bin
That is conventional
This is a ceremony
And you need space
Lots of space in front of you
For the competitive stone spitting
That will follow each and every cherry
Stone spitting is an essential part of the ceremony
To eat cherries without competitive stone spitting
Is a terrible waste
Worse than that, it is a travesty
A crime against the beauty
Of the simple pleasures in life
I cannot emphasise this enough:
Competitive stone spitting is essential
You will need plenty of space in front of you
For the cherry stones to fly from your mouth at force
With varying degrees of success
May I suggest sitting on the edge of the Leeds to Liverpool canal
Slightly further east from The Royal Armouries
It is more peaceful there
Although Clarence Docks will suffice if you are pushed for time.
- Do not be pushed for time.
You would not rush a wedding
This is a ceremony to be savoured
It will take as long as it takes
Which won’t be as long as you allow
But allow for at least two hours.
- Leave the rest of your day free
Don’t make plans to do anything afterwards
Notably anything requiring you to be clean
Cherry savouring can, and should, be dirty
Getting dirty is proof that you know how to live the good life
Because you do, don’t you?
Those delicious cherries won’t eat themselves
Those delicious plump reddy purpley sweet sweet cherries
Won’t eat themselves
You will get messy
That is an important part of the ceremony
Battle wounds give you all-important points.
Back to location
Another suitable location might be a field
You want your cherry stones to land
Like Olympic long jumpers
Their final location observed and noted
- Expect the best but prepare for the worst
YOU WILL WIN!
Your cherry stones will go far
They will go so far that they will land on the other side of the canal
You will emerge victorious
And your competitors will watch in horror
As your cherry stones leave theirs for dust
Every single time
You are a hero
A cherry stone spitting hero
And others quake when you pass by.
Savour that feeling.
It has been shown that visualising the result you desire
Has a proven effect on success
Your stone WILL hurtle through the air at force
And you WILL emerge victorious
On the other hand,
Be prepared that you may fail
Be prepared that you don’t yet have the skills needed
To propel cherries at force from your mouth
Heroes are not made overnight
They hone their skills over years and years
Failing many times on their journey to success.
Be prepared that your cherry stone may land at your feet
It may go sideways
Or worse, behind you
Or hang, limp, from your own lips
The ultimate humilation
Be prepared to own your own failure
With a smile
And humbly show your appreciation for your friend stroke competitor
Who can send their cherry stone so far
That you think SURELY that one should get in The Guinness World Book of Records
- I forgot to mention
You need friends stroke competitors
One will do
More is also good.
Choose friends stroke competitors who you love to play with
Who you can fail in front of
And still smile
Who you can be happy for when they inevitably beat you
At cherry stone spitting
Did I say inevitably?
Expect the best
You can do this
Now what are you waiting for?