My New Dating Profile

I’m standing on a wet playground
Calling out: “Keep pedalling!
Keep pedalling! Keep pedalling! Keep pedalling!’
And this kid
Is holding on tight to the handlebars
Gripping with all their might
While I’m calling out “Keep pedalling!
Keep pedalling! Keep pedalling! Keep pedalling!”
And they lose their footing
But they find it again!
And there comes a moment
When they’re making it happen themself
Then they’re off
They’re off!
They’re doing it!
And they keep pedalling
They keep pedalling, keep pedalling, keep pedalling
My grin getting wider
As they keep pedalling
As if it’s me
Who’s just found that freedom

People call me brave when they see me on stage
Or smashing ice to get in the water
But I have three tiny embryos
In a freezer in Manchester
And I’m too scared to put them in
Because as long as they’re frozen
There’s still hope

I can be unkind
And waste time
Just don’t lie to me
I eat homemade muesli with greek yoghurt
And I want to be more like my littlest nephew
He knows he’s “fableous”

Yet I’m enveloped
In a nagging cloud of knowing
I did something wrong
Again
Politeness is overrated
I lie when I say it’s lovely to see you
If only I had less moustache on my face
I like men who dare to be gentle
I like women who dare to be strong

He said that I say ‘If you want’ a lot,
Which I do, but it’s just to be sure
That he wants it too
Is uncertainty unattractive?
What about craving reassurance?
Please tell me it’s not.

The greatest love of my life
Is the girl I met on the plane
From Darwin to Kupang
Almost every waking hour together
For eight whole months
In Indonesia in the year 2001
Our Asia Odyssey

I covet the skill
Of filling in successful application forms
I wish that I let myself feel my feelings
Rather than numbing with podcasts and scrolling
Yet I wrote a play
I should like to be a bird
Doesn’t everyone think that?
To live by water and mountains
Woodland and open skies
With people nearby but space for solitude
Don’t ask for much, do I?

Polar, my teddy bear,
Has been with me for years
I threw him out of the pram, then mum
Put a notice in the grocers and someone
Rang our doorbell one day,
And they brought Polar back
Now I call him PB

Misery is people everywhere
But no intimacy, no realness, no connection
And no way to sleep
I love to act
I am sarcastic
I love people who get real
I stopped reading books
Does that make me bad?
Alice Alice Alice
Gliding down the stairs
In the land of the looking glass

Men write the history
I stopped paying attention in year nine
When we had to choose
Between history and geography
My heroes are my friends
Like Fran, so wise and funny and strong
Leah, always always up for it, believing in us
And Cam, who plans ambitious adventures
That others love to complain about
But they go, don’t they?
Also my brother, who I count as a friend
He says I’m not his friend
But either way he’s fab
The best dad

I loved the name James
Then I went out with four of them
And the magic waned

I dislike loud computer games
In public places
Or any places
Like next to me when I’m eating

I don’t have a biggest regret
Just millions and millions
Of micro regrets
Every single day
I would like to drown
But oh well

NaPoWriMo 25: write a poem based on the “Proust Questionnaire,” a set of questions drawn from Victorian-era parlor games, and adapted by modern interviewers. You could choose to answer the whole questionnaire, and then write a poem based on your answers, answer just a few, or just write a poem that’s based on the questions. You could even write a poem in the form of an entirely new Proust Questionnaire. We have a fairly standard, 35-question version of the questionnaire laid out for you below.

What is your idea of perfect happiness?
What is your greatest fear?
What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?
What is the trait you most deplore in others?
Which living person do you most admire?
What is your greatest extravagance?
What is your current state of mind?
What do you consider the most overrated virtue?
On what occasion do you lie?
What do you most dislike about your appearance?
Which living person do you most despise?
What is the quality you most like in a man?
What is the quality you most like in a woman?
Which words or phrases do you most overuse?
What or who is the greatest love of your life?
When and where were you happiest?
Which talent would you most like to have?
If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
What do you consider your greatest achievement?
If you were to die and come back as a person or a thing, what would it be?
Where would you most like to live?
What is your most treasured possession?
What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?
What is your favorite occupation?
What is your most marked characteristic?
What do you most value in your friends?
Who are your favorite writers?
Who is your hero of fiction?
Which historical figure do you most identify with?
Who are your heroes in real life?
What are your favorite names?
What is it that you most dislike?
What is your greatest regret?
How would you like to die?
What is your motto?